Martha Gomp? Are You Reading this?

Martha Gomp, are you reading this blog? Because based on what I'm seeing, starting at 2:30pm on November 14th and extending for about 3 hours, you are going to be in the most powerful period of your life. And the way things are looking on your extended psychic forecast, you won't ever have it this good again.

That's right, Martha Gomp, the powerful forces I'm picking up with my extrasensorics will give you unprecedented luck, love, money and influence over others. That's virtually a full three hours when you will be in a near-ideal position to take charge of your destiny.

Some things you could do during that period?

- get a new job!
- move to a new home!
- have that operation you've been putting off!
- rotate your mattress!

The possibilities are limitless. But after that window of psychic opportunity has passed, it's all downhill for you. That's right - you'll still be taking care of your mother, you'll still wonder why your cat pee pees on every single item of clothing that you meant to return to the store, you'll still hope that your son - Matthew Gomp Jr. - will call you on the phone one night (but he never will) and you will still be working at Shady Groves Rest Home. And yes, you'll still have to make ends meet by taking on freelance babysitting jobs for the elderly, including Mr. Rotuna of Rural Route 1, Station 37.

But in that three hour window, you could maybe change it all.

Martha, it doesn't have to be this way.
Call me now !

Who does the Queen Think She Is?

I was very nervous about starting my Facebook page because while it is good to mingle with the normal people it is not so good to mingle with the subnormals, and that is a lot of what's on the internets. But it is encouraging to me when I see one of my peers, like Queen Elizabeth, join Facebook because then I think, "Well, if it is good enough for Lizzie then it should be ok for me, Dr. Julia Wonder." I went to her page and sent her a friend request, which is silly because I know the second she has a break from visiting salt mines and putting her drunk mother to bed, Lizzie will be busy Friending me. But I thought I would save her the trouble because she is getting a little long in the tooth and forgetful.

Imagine how insulting it was to receive this message from her:

So let me get this straight: because a bunch of subnormals who have never drank Bloody Mary's with Queen E until 4 in the morning and then had to toss her royal ass in a cold shower after she passed out in the Royal Mews with her skirt hitched up around her waist want to be Facebook friends with her, I have to wait in line for her to acknowledge me?

To hell with that.

So you know what I did?

I bet she'll think twice before getting uppity with me again!

Julia Wonder on the YouToobs!

Do you need more of me inside of your life? I bet you do! Head on over to my YouToob channel and watch exciting video footage of your favorite person...Me! In this first exclusive contents you can see a little video my LAMBS made back in 2000 when I was running for President of These United States. I used to play this video before rallies and at in-home appearances, just to get the gals all worked up before I came out and gave them their lucky numbers. On the YouToobs it already has 50 views, and I bet all of them viewers are each and every one of them a maladjusted peoples with unhappiness in their lives and they could use a little slice of what I'm selling. Because I am selling excitement!

Lamb Stevie and Me, Dr. Julia Wonder, are in this video visiting Washington of D of C to take the temperature of the peoples and lubricate them for my run for President. I think they were pretty well lubricated, but I did not win. Still, I consider that a victory! And that's a lesson I teach unto all my followers: there is no such thing as losing. Only different flavors of winning!

I would have made a nicer seal, and that's
just for starters.