Reality TV and Me

Many of my followers say to me, "Julia, why isn't you on the TV more often? I often see dumb and ugly people on television. It seems natural for you." And do you know what I say unto them? I say, "I did not go to a four-year program of correspondence study and spend $216 on stamps so that you could not call me Doctor Wonder." And that usually shapes them right up, but their question does have merit. And that question is one I hear all over this great country of ours:

Dr. Wonder, why aren't you on the dern TV?

Many of you cannot comprehend the difficulties of a psychic talent such as myself appearing on the TV in a suitable vehicle. Just this year a production company contacted me and said they wanted to do a show called Celebrity Psychic Apprentice. They even let me pick the participants who would learn to maximalize their psychic abilities at my hands.

Good old Carrot Top.
I think that he is full of untapped potential.

DJ Samantha Ronson. She has been unlucky in love,

and she is a artist. These two types of peoples
are most likely to respond to my therapies
to release their blockages quickly.
Also, drug addicts.


Insane Clown Posse. They have often asked
me for my guidance in their record albums
and they enjoy drinking Faygo and say that
their purpose is to "touch a lot of people."
Me, too!

Donald Faison. Is there anyone in
America who doesn't love Scrubs?


Victoria Givens is full of determination and spunk.
She currently holds the world record
for anal gangbangs, taking on 101 men in
7 hours with no lubrication.


Speaking of strong women, please
meet Janine Turner, a personal hero of mine.
She has gone from actor to political commentator who
wants to take back America from the liberals.
I truly think it is only a matter of time before she achieves
the level of respect that Victoria has.

It could have been a great show that would have given these has-beens a new lease on life. Then tragedy struck in the form of a psychic disaster no one could have anticipated. The tragedy of Celebrity Psychic Apprentice was that before we had even finished filming the first episode, I already knew who was going to win. My psychic abilities are truly a double edged sword.

I did the show because I believe in living up to my obligations but you could tell I was just going through the motions and so at the end I bought it back from the producers and have it stored in a secured location.

See, you all don't think about these things, but being me is trickier than it may first appears.